ABOUT YUB
Hello Earthlings! Yub’s best friend Ickle has asked Yub to introduce myself, so… My name is Yub, from the planet Blubbiter. Blubbiter is millions and millions of lightyears away from planet 3AR7H, or as you humans call, Earth. My best friend Ickle is from a neighbouring planet. In our solar system, the sun is a giant living creature that has existed from ages ago.
I am still learning the human language of English, so I may not know as many words as all you Earthlings do yet. But I am smart, so I’m not worried about it. In my opinion, English is too complicated. Blubbanese, is what I speak in my home planet and it is so much easier. All species of Blub have evolved to be able to communicate in a language that is so advanced, it only takes one word – “Blub”!
In the beginning, I didn’t want to come to Earth. It looked like a planet full of dirt, dirt, and more dirt from the telescope on Blubbiter. But something happened that changed my mind. So, I visited anyway, and now I have learnt to like Earth. Does Yub absolutely looooove Earth? No. Plenty of Earthlings and things on Earth are weird.
But does Yub like Earth? Yes. I have discovered many things. I like mochi, worms, furry friends, and funky music that humans make with an instrument called “Bass”. The wiggly vibrations that the bass makes makes me want to wiggle, wiggle, wiggle!
ABOUT ICKLE
Greetings, humans. I’m Ickle. Unlike Yub, I can speak your language perfectly. That’s because my brain works 237 times better than Yub’s, and 626 times better than a human’s. I already understand all your words, grammatical constructs, and linguistical tones. A lot of stuff here on 3AR7H is however, foreign to me. That’s because I’ve never seen such primitive objects and technology before – I’ve only read about them when I was still on my home planet.
I come from a planet called Pickle. I know, I know, you must all be thinking how funny it is that my planet is named after a sour, wrinkly cucumber. The thing is, what you call “Pickles”, really only exist on your planet Earth. I’ve been to thousands of planets across thousands of galaxies, and I’ve read the anthropologies of millions more life-forms. Literally NOONE else has…well, “pickles”. You guys are a rather weird species, y’know that?
My goal is the same as always when I visit a new planet. Explore as much of it as possible, for however long possible. I’ll collect all the things I find interesting for future reference. I don’t exactly have anything edible on Earth that I quite like just yet, but I’m sure I’ll discover something someday. Unlike Yub who likes funky tunes, I prefer Earth’s classical music – mainly Prokofiev and Debussy.
I also quite like the sunshine on 3AR7H. It’s very different from the solar rays we get on planet Pickle. 3AR7H’s sunshine hurts my eyes, though, which is why I have to wear an earthly contraption you call “sunglasses”. Earth’s sunsets are also one of the prettiest I’ve ever seen before. I’d say in comes in a close third to the sunsets on Tatooine.
Yes, Tatooine exists… and Luke Skywalker? He’s a pretty chill dude.
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Happy explorations, humanations!